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War of the Genders

A confrontational soapbox for rants and politically incorrect manifestos regarding feminism, chauvinism, dating and gender issues.

Location: Jerusalem, Israel

This isn't a dating site. If you wish to propose marriage or to beat me up, leave me a note.

Monday, June 20, 2005

One-Night Stupidity

Perusing through miscellaneous articles on the internet, I often come across many popular misandric statements or worse: illogical ones.

Some are amusing: "[what women want from a man is that]... he has some incredibly exciting career in which they can experience unlimited financial freedom together." I hope I don't have to translate that obvious one for you.

But I was looking up opinions and surveys on one-night stands and kept coming up with the same puzzling statement: "Men sleep with more partners than women do" or "Men on average have more one-night stands than women" or "Women are now having more one-night stands - almost as many as men".

Now let's think about that for a minute. How is it logically possible for men to have more sex with women than it is for women to have sex with men?

Even if you say that many individual women sleep around less, that would mean there are a handful of female sluts out there who are being passed around like the flu and who are raising the average for women single-handledly. Which doesn't reflect well on the female gender.

Or perhaps these surveys include male homosexuals in which case homosexuals are single-handledly raising the average for men.

Alternative conclusions are that more men exaggerate about their sexual partners (even in phone surveys), or that more women understate their sexual activity. Pick your preferred theory. Either way, these statements are illogical.

What's interesting is that all surveys agree that most women regret most flings and yet more and more women are having one-night stands (here are a couple of sites in case you're too lazy to search: 1 2).

"Young women are trying more and more to act like men," said Nancy Pfotenhauer, president of the Independent Women's Forum. "But the problem is they don't react like men." I couldn't have put it better myself.

One obvious question is, why are women trying to be men when most are obviously not equipped to handle it. I'd say this ties in with my previous contention that women don't know what they want.

Regarding why women have flings, a survey has this to say: "The reasons women gave for succumbing to seduction were too much alcohol (57 per cent), getting over a break-up (43 per cent), chemistry (43 per cent), and ‘why not, we’re consenting adults’ (18 per cent)."

In other words, for women, the vast majority of flings occur because of loss of control due to alcohol, loss of control due to emotional instability, and loss of control due to strong chemistry.

Somehow it doesn't impress me that women have flings despite their convictions and feelings otherwise whereas men have flings simply because they want to have them. In fact, this raises a serious question about a woman's reliability. The popular stereotype is that men are weak-willed when it comes to sex and are easily seduced whereas women don't cheat as easily. The above proves, as usual, that this is hogwash.

The only possible counter-argument is that men are sluttier in intention and that they would have more cheap sex if they could. But when it comes to actions, I'm afraid you women are not only down in the gutter with us men, you are also sluttier and stupider because you are behaving against your better instincts.


Blogger peacefulwoman76 said...

"But when it comes to actions, I'm afraid you women are not only down in the gutter with us men, you are also sluttier and stupider because you are behaving against your better instincts."... said by you.

Ouch. That was harsh. You might have even intended for it to be, but why? Why is it that you seem so frustrated by this? You said before that women didn't like getting their medicine given back to them (male pregnancy) and yet, here is you (males) medicine coming back at you. Why are you upset that women have more casual sex now? Because you now have to wonder about that person's health, sexual appetites, and fidelity issues? Hmm...seems like women have had that problem for a while now. And it was generally accepted by society. Boys will be boys, afterall.

I agree that some women are trying to act more like men and that women do have a problem in that we react differently than men. That is a true thing.

What bothers me most is that you fell into that idea that women who have more than the "accepted" number of sexual partners (whatever that number might be) and engage in one-night stands are sluts. Could it simply mean that our society has become so accepting of casual sex, that women are indeed participating in it more? Could it be the lower risk of pregnacy allowing women to express themselves more sexually? Could it be the trend to marry later in life inflating those numbers?

What were men's reason's for having one-night stands? Could they be for the same reasons as women? I think maybe so.

June 20, 2005 11:12 pm  
Blogger Baron said...

Men have always been 'sluts'. Like I said, women have joined men in the gutter. So I'm judging them by pretty much equal standards.

I'm not being harsh because women now get a chance to do things that were exclusively male or because more women may have STDs, or even because more women will sleep around on me. I'm frustrated because women are picking the bad characteristics of men to emulate. And not only that, they are copying bad behaviour that they know they can't handle and that they are more sensitive to, and yet they do it anyways.

I'm frustrated because now the world is even more screwed up and stupidity pains me. Women are making it harder and harder to respect them.

And you can use euphemisms like 'casual sex' and 'sexual expression' all you like, but one-night stands make both a man and woman a slut by definition. Look it up in the dictionary. I didn't 'fall' into any 'idea'.

Men have one main reason for having one-night stands which is the one I mentioned as the least frequent for women: ‘why not, we’re consenting adults’. As I said in the post, this comparison leads to unflattering conclusions.

June 20, 2005 11:51 pm  
Blogger peacefulwoman76 said...

I looked up the term "slut" in the dictionary (using the dictionary.com site). Every definition mentioned a woman/female. Why do you believe that is? (retorical) I am not disagreeing with your statement that a one-night stand by either a man or a woman makes either a slut. As I only check one site, I am sure there is a definition that includes men in it.

I think that what needs to be understood is that both woman and men are flawed. As individuals and a group.

I honestly don't understand why a woman would want to participate in a one-night stand. I, for one, understand that I have some severe limitations in that area. However, I think that we all experiment to find out limitations. Not that when we set out to do something we are purposely "experimenting". That sounds harsh. But, that is what learning is.

I didn't mean to imply that you had "fallen" into an "idea". I was just frustrated at the double standard. (Don't say it, another fine example of a woman not knowing what she wants.)I do know what I want for myself and I see my friends (female) and as we get older we find ourselves questioning what we want simply because it seems unattainable. Maybe we should just "settle"? But, no. That definately won't do. Oops. Way off topic there.

I also am pained by what is happening in society. While we should worry about the sexual activities of our women today, I think we need to focus more on those of our children. Watching my students at a school dance this last spring was a harrowing experience. These are elementary school students (oldest in 6th grade) who all knew the correct moves I didn't see until I saw Dirty Dancing for the first time.

Women have been making it hard for men to respect them blinding (or because momma said to) for many years. We want to earn our respect (for some perverse reason).

Anyway, I appologize for what (after re-reading it) seems a little too much like a personal attack.

June 21, 2005 2:22 am  
Blogger Baron said...

Actually I took some liberty applying the word slut to men. I've been doing that for years simply because there is no equivalent word for men. I was referring to the 'promiscuous' part of the definition, not the 'woman' part.

June 21, 2005 10:00 am  
Blogger peacefulwoman76 said...

I realize that and was simply mentioning that none mention men out of shock. I guess my thoughts were that a slut was someone who was promiscuous of any gender. I was surprised that it turns out to be a purely female thing. Another item to add to my what-I-learned-yesterday list.

June 21, 2005 2:21 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is spot on for me. I've done this behavior and while I had a lot of issues before which probably contributed greatly toward leading me on this path, the casual sex thing has left me suspicious and paranoid and bitter about men and really damaged my opinion of myself. I tried to have sex like a man but I didn't feel like a man. I have a chip on my shoulder I don't think will go away, or it will take awhile. I'm being very careful from nnow on.

May 03, 2009 11:46 am  

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