One-Track Mind

Using a developmental taxonomy, women nowadays can perhaps be split into two general camps: The first, usually younger and modern girl, is looking for fun. She has often acquired the bad traits of men, has numerous flings, lacks depth, filters mates based on practicality, looks, and comfort levels, occasionally perhaps falls in love, is generally uncomplicated, and has some kind of career which she may or may not treat seriously.

But women always grow to a stage when they feel it's time to settle down, one way or another. Then the girl-talk shifts slowly to heavier relationship issues to the point of obsession. The same questions and concerns are overheard over and over again:

Is this a man with a future? Is this a man I want to sleep with for the rest of my life? Is this the father of my children? When can I bring up the subject of marriage without scaring him off? Why does he get all nervous when we talk about marriage? Is this a serious relationship? When will this relationship get somewhere solid? When will he take it to the next level? Why can't he commit? When will he pop the question? I can't stay with this immature man who doesn't take things seriously. I want absolute love and marriage. I want a family. I want a real man.

Damn do you women have one-track minds. You're as bad with relationships and marriage as men are with sex. Granted, this is a simplistic and generalized outlook, but the patterns are evident and point to an intriguing theory.

So you push hard, you work out techniques and tricks to try to speed up matters towards the goal you have set yourselves, and then when you finally do achieve your goal, you often change and become bitter or distant. I have heard so many complaints from men about their wives who suddenly let themselves go after marriage, who don't seem interested in their husbands' passions anymore, and who lose the fire that drove them so close together before and that prompted the man to propose. Women no longer go the extra mile and even lose interest.

Men often behave in exactly the same way when they finally get you in bed. So how are you any different?

In the vastly entertaining movie "Witches of Eastwick", the devil seduces women and convinces them that marriage suffocates the woman and is not good for her. He says that man kills the woman's fire, then complains that he married a corpse. But the devil uses this to argue that women should remain 'free' and explore their sexuality and fun-loving lifestyles.

Which poses the question: Why can't we have both?

A quick search in Amazon comes up with several books with outrageous titles like: "Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others: The Fascinating Research That Can Land You the Husband of Your Dreams" and: "Stop Getting Dumped! All You Need to Know to Make Men Fall Madly in Love with You and Marry The One in 3 Years or Less".

Men don't have the equivalent popular books on how to score since most men don't have the patience or the lack of ego to read 200 pages of instructions on how to be the stud they wish they were. But tips are always welcomed and sought after. And indeed, there are sites, forums and chats speckled with such nuggets of information to help men achieve their goals.

Indeed the goals are different but the methods are basically the same.

I sometimes worry at night when I see women pushing their agendas. I discuss these matters with my male friends and decided I must ask you ladies a question before I go any further: If I marry you, will you still respect me in the morning?