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War of the Genders

A confrontational soapbox for rants and politically incorrect manifestos regarding feminism, chauvinism, dating and gender issues.

Sunday, October 03, 2004

I Hate Victims

Recently, I did some internet research and found increasingly numerous men's movements and anti-PC and post-feminist rants. Most of the sites dealt with the over-emphasis on women's rights and legal matters, especially child-support and divorce proceedings. There are so many widespread horror stories about greedy, vindictive women who abuse their legal power to do horrible things to their ex-husbands and children that I don't think I have to go into details anymore (try a sample article written from a female lawyer's point of view). There are rants about women not being drafted into the army, getting special treatment, women's health research getting more funding than men's, and even that men should be allowed to retire earlier because of their life expectancy. They include double-standards, misandry, female violence, statistics about the high amount of fake allegations of rape, etc, etc.

Imagine how bad the current state of affairs must be to have home paternity tests commercially available.

At first, I was even tempted to join up with some of these sites one way or another, if only to link them. They seemed very relevant.

But then I saw declarations that male power is a myth and statements like 'if men are so chauvinistic, why are they so quick to listen to feminist complaints'? I read endless and bitter accusations and rants, some irrational arguments, reactionary articles and one-sided polemics. I saw weariness and many fed up people who got sick of listening to women, now going to the other extreme. I saw male victims with chips on their shoulders and it all gave me a strange sense of déjà vu.

So what's really happening here? The only reason it has gotten to the stage where women have power and more respect in the first place is because of the powerful campaigning and feminist activists and the fact that people in power needed the 51% of women's votes who were suddenly demanding their rights.

But the truth is that this campaign has gone overboard and pushed things way too far. So now men are starting to push things the other way. Some are even so sick of feminazis, they are stating that men should be proud of their chauvinism and 'male' habits. Sexist male TV shows are popping up, etc. Where will it end? Right now male movements are justified and somewhat rational, but they can undo some of the progress made by feminists 30 years ago and resort to nasty throwbacks or worse. Feminism started this way as well.

And then it struck me: These angry men are over-victimizing themselves, demanding equality, and are already starting to make the same mistakes feminists did.

Do we have to swing back and forth like a see-saw before we find that delicate balance? What will it take to become a rational society?

In this blog I attempt to be neither here nor there but to provoke independent thinking. I try to show old issues in a new light instead of new issues in an old light. These sites made me realize that my balance is rare and that I'm the only one provoking with conservative opinions instead of stupid progressive ones. I will not link to these sites.

If I often sound like I'm one-sided and ranting against women, it's either because that's where most of the blindness currently is at, or simply because you are a woman who isn't used to being attacked this way. If you look closely however, I challenge both genders. Deal with it, and deal with it rationally just like you expect men to do.

You women have proven again and again that given power, you abuse it just as much as men, if not more. Your masses have been proven capable of extreme sexism, arrogance, greed, violence, abuse and intolerance. I'd be hard pressed to find one despicable trait in men that you haven't adopted yourselves with a vengeance. Men are sick of your lies and can see right through your militant feminist myths about feminine utopias. Do you really want all your hard work to be undone?

It's time for men to learn from the errors of feminism and it's time for you women to start listening again. It's for your own good.

"Large numbers of unattached and predatory males who have never taken on the responsibilities of family life, or who have been ejected from families, now meet the classic conditions for the creation of a 'warrior class'."
-Patricia Morgan

". . . Feminism has, for the first time in history, turned women from shaming individual men who are judged dishonorable, to shaming men in general and masculinity as an institution. And the very real danger in this is that if men come to perceive that there is no way for them to achieve honor, to be recognized publicly and privately as 'good' men, then they may sense that they have little to lose by taking what they want, since they have little to gain by restraining themselves. I very much fear that if we do not turn aside from our still-growing, wholesale shaming of men and the Patriarchy and all things male, that our future may contain civil violence of a degree we have never seen before."
-everyman.org

5 Comments:

said...

I really enjoyed this article. You express what I have been trying to state on my own site. Thank goodness there are others out there that is as concerned about the Men's Right Movement as well as the feminist movement as I am at present.

I am a woman, and I am in a bit of an odd position. On the one hand I disagree with many aspects of Feminism. Yet on the other hand, I grow tired of MRA sites that attack me for being a woman and turn into female-bashing sites(they ASSUME that I am a feminist and therefore the ENEMY - that is deja-vu) and whilst I can understand that their behaviour is reactionary - they have to be so very careful with it - lest they turn into a male version of the 'feminasties' they so despise. I just don't think their behaviour is very productive and doesn't help us (male and female) get to grips with issues that really need to be dealt with.

I would really like to see more voices like yours heard. At the moment I am asking around various male and female blogs and around writer friends that I know, who display a willingness to see gender issues for what they are and question them with the honest intention of understanding them and trying to reach the truth.

I would like to ask you if you would like to be a guest blogger on my site? Or if not a guest blogger, would you be willing to grant me the permission to reproduce this article (and possibly others) on my site? I will link the article to your blog here.

My blog is called engendertruth.com, my intentions are honest, I just want to try and bring a bit of sense and balance into the issues that face men and women today. I don't want to attack men or women - I just want to question what is going on.

I won't take offense if you decline this offer. Of course it is up to you. Either way, this blog is going on my blogroll because I think you have some wonderful viewpoints that more people need to hear. :)

If you are interested please drop me a line at engendertruth@hotmail.co.uk to let me know.

Many thanks

Em

July 15, 2007 6:16 pm  
said...

Thanks.

Regarding posting on other blogs: Obviously, when I think of something to say about genders, I prefer posting it here.

Regarding reproducing articles: In theory I have no problem with reproducing (as long as there's a link) but I usually prefer a link instead of copying the whole article so that if people comment, I can see what they say. I have no problem with copying/quoting snippets though.

July 19, 2007 12:00 pm  
said...

"But the truth is that this campaign has gone overboard and pushed things way too far. So now men are starting to push things the other way. Some are even so sick of feminazis, they are stating that men should be proud of their chauvinism and 'male' habits. Sexist male TV shows are popping up, etc. Where will it end? Right now male movements are justified and somewhat rational, but they can undo some of the progress made by feminists 30 years ago and resort to nasty throwbacks or worse. Feminism started this way as well."

This was my conclusion after perusing through 12+ MRA sites. My first thought was that if feminism is so wrong, why did it emerge as a movement? Obviously something was wrong. Why has the MRM emerged? Because something was wrong--feminism has gone too far. I am happy I have finally found yours and Embar's sites. The answer is middle ground.

July 20, 2007 8:59 am  
said...

Very well written and I too support your quest for a rational society. That we swing from one extreme pendulum arc to another demonstrates a lack of consideration.

The old adage of power corrupting still rings true and just as true for women as for men. It is human nature we need to understand and gain better control of and part of that requires ruthless examination of the ideas that drive this sort of movement into becoming as representative of social injustice as those things they originally set out to combat and seek relief from.

How this occurs, and why is what we need to understand. Then we can start to make some headway and achieve balance.

Keep up the good work.

September 28, 2007 1:52 am  
said...

Great essay, and I will return to this blog.

"If you look closely however, I challenge both genders. Deal with it, and deal with it rationally just like you expect men to do. "

Both genders have things to be angry about, but they should realize they have a key hope that other victims don't.

The hope is that they can be reasonably sure, on average, that their children will suffer less bias than they have. Feminists get this for free. Men's Rights advocates get this for free. Victims of ethnic or religious bias don't have that hope.

October 05, 2007 8:31 pm  

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