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War of the Genders

A confrontational soapbox for rants and politically incorrect manifestos regarding feminism, chauvinism, dating and gender issues.

Friday, October 08, 2004


"Twenty-One Points for Women Who Want Their Men to Open Up"
Written by Jack Kammer ©2002, used by permission.

A perfectly valid word for an exchange of thoughts and feelings is "intercourse." There's a good reason for this. For every complaint that women have about how we try to get sex from them, we can make a similar point about how women try to get emotion from us.

  1. Don't just snap your fingers and say, "Open up."

  2. Though you may feel a strong urge to "do it," men are different. Intercourse does not always have to be in and out, back and forth. Men value and enjoy non-verbal intercourse, like being understood and accepted for what they are, not what they say.

  3. You can't force intercourse and expect your man to enjoy it. You might force him to fake an understanding just to get it over with.

  4. Men will not hop into emotional intimacy with just anyone. Men know that women are always ready to get into somebody's head. You must convince him that he is not just another piece of mind.

  5. You should let him be on top sometimes. Men are tired of being in the inferior position, especially in hot and passionate intercourse.

  6. Don't perform tricks that make him feel inadequate. Remember that you have been raised with more skill in intercourse than he has.

  7. Men were taught that only women are supposed to enjoy intercourse. Help him not to feel guilty and weird for doing it.

  8. Let him take control sometimes. Don't insist on controlling whose needs must be met when.

  9. Don't talk and tell. Don't get him to "put out" and then rush to your women friends with the intimate details.

  10. If your thrusting and probing hurts him, stop immediately. Don't assume that he'll start to like it just because you do.

  11. Allow him to initiate. Don't hit on him with so many requests for intercourse that he never feels the urge to start intercourse at his own pace, according to his own needs.

  12. Men are often shy and insecure about their flaws and blemishes, about whether you will find them attractive. Don't expect your man to show you everything right away.

  13. Remember that good intercourse is not a wrestling match. There should be no winner and no loser.

  14. Respect your lover as an equal partner. You don't own him; he does not exist for the sole purpose of providing your pleasure.

  15. If you have ever abused him during intercourse, understand that it may take a long, long time for your man to open up to you again.

  16. Keep in mind that men's and women's rhythms are different. Don't get angry if his needs don't coincide with yours.

  17. If you simply want to release tension, let him know. Don't pretend that you're doing it for him. Men often resist intercourse if they feel pressured about "getting into it."

  18. There is no such thing as the ideal lover. Don't try to make your partner into something he isn't. Accept your man as he is.

  19. Foreplay is essential; gentle stroking of the ego can help. If you encounter a ravenous ego, remember it is ravenous not because it gets too much healthy attention, but because it gets too little.

  20. Don't get hung up on achieving simultaneous understanding. Men's understandings take longer, but they are usually more intense.

  21. Respect him in the morning.

Monday, October 04, 2004

You're Cursed

This essay is actually a criticism on myself as well because it corrects a serious logical error I made and even posted about earlier. Let's start from scratch:

Females tend to be submissive by nature whether feminists want to admit it or not. Even some of the women that think they aren't submissive always have traces of it or can be made to feel submissive to a certain extent by the right man. Now before you jump to your feet with a large kitchen knife, this does not mean that all women are passive creatures that want to be dominated, that women are inferior, that all are submissive in the same way, nor does it mean that this fact is an idealism or a complete picture.

My proof is simple but somewhat subjective: I've seen it and experienced it in almost every woman I meet, if only to the extent that they enjoy watching male leaders or prefer certain dating and sex habits that let the man take the lead. Since this is only a strong tendency and not an absolute trait, I cannot prove it more objectively than this unless careful studies and surveys are made (which I haven't found).

It can be strongly argued that several external elements such as upbringing, sociological pressures and traumas may be the only causes of this phenomenon. However, the bottom line is that it depends on your ability to be objective and perceptive, to analyze trends and isolate circumstances. I am willing to bet that if a careful study was made even on women with healthy backgrounds and strong careers, that it would prove me correct.

Even the fact that more and more men like women to control them does not contradict this (men and women don't necessarily distribute traits exclusively between themselves), and in fact, if you notice the majority of women's disgusted reactions to submissive men, it would be proof for the opposite argument. It is rare to find a woman who consistently enjoys being dominant in a male-female relationship for more than a short period of time and this fits in with my contention.

Once you accept this base, what would a natural submissive do in a relationship, especially one where her partner is naturally aggressive? Encourage him to be dominant of course. Again, some may do this subtly and moderately, asking for guidance, encouraging him to take the lead in bed, agreeing or giving in more often, allowing themselves to be seduced, etc. Others may be more extreme and encourage the whips and chains, and even delude themselves into thinking that their overly-aggressive males really love them.

This obviously also works the other way around and the opposite chain of events is probably more common: The aggressive male may easily take advantage of this natural submissive trend and use it to his advantage to the point of extremity. Note that this doesn't make the testosterone-flowing male into a 'natural' and healthy counterpart, it only makes things more dangerous!

The important thing to realize is that it works in both directions.

If you think about it, this also explains why battered women stick around for so long. The near pop-psychology that a woman starts to like it and loses her sense of identity may be true, but isn't enough for me. This natural submission gives the behaviour an existential basis and explains why she let it happen in the first place!

Now as a Jew, the source for this behaviour is obvious to me. Eve gets punished for eating the forbidden fruit when, among other things, God decrees that men will rule over her. Obviously, most people assume this is some kind of age-old chauvinistic excuse for abusing woman and keeping her in the kitchen. But have you ever considered the possibility that this is not a command or an assignment of roles but a karmic/genetic change Eve brought on herself? Eve isn't told to submit; she becomes submissive by nature.

Since she wanted too much independent God-like power as well as abused her power over her husband, she becomes dependent on her husband. Unfair? Utter nonsense? The Bible is just chauvinistic crap written by men? Perhaps, but reality just happens to agree whether you like it or not.

Also note that the Bible says two things: not only is she told that her desires will be for her man, but in addition, the man will rule over her. The commentary says that the curse is double: if woman thinks she can control her desires, man will be able to manipulate and use them anyways.

The way I see it, it's not that she became submissive after she ate from the fruit. She was always submissive at a certain level, but had no sense of material independent identity before she ate. She wanted God-like powers with increased separation and therefore free-will, and she got them. The consequence was that now that she got her new independence, she suddenly finds herself submitting it. You can't submit something that isn't there. However, this needs to be discussed elsewhere with more depth.

But the truth is (and this is where I made the mistake) that it's a curse! It is undesirable and should be avoided as much as possible. The other parts of the curse include labor pain, and the man's curse involves sweating all day with farming work and dealing with thistles. Obviously, we do everything we can to avoid these things, why should submission be any different?

Granted, a curse isn't pointless and it's there to remind us of certain mistakes we made, but that doesn't mean we need to give in to it.

By the way, don't assume this means that leadership roles are or should be equally distributed. There are other issues which affect this which I will not go into here.

Now here is where I get a little mean and address you women:

Firstly, stop giving in to the curse so much. 'Duh!' you say? Well think again. Many of you have accepted it as part of your personality and give it free reign to your own detriment, others aren't even aware of it and how it affects them in subtle ways. And until you admit to it, you will not be able to deal with it properly.

Secondly, stop letting the curse take over your personality so much that it erases it. You neurotic, masochistic submissives have combined your submission with your pointless existence and think it makes you giving and wanted. Sex slaves are boring and about as useful as a hole in the wall. Most are merely empty egocentrics with so-called Dominants at their feet doing all the work.

Thirdly, stop trying to dump the consequences of your curse on men by making men make your decisions and do the work. More and more conservative post-feminist women are encouraging men to lead them, another expression of their submission. Just because you're cursed, that doesn't mean I have to get more responsiblities or that all of your development depends on you getting married.

Fourthly, stop exclusively blaming men for oppressing women. A consequence of letting your tendencies take over is that naturally aggressive men gleefully rise to the task and slowly start treating you as inferior. It takes two to tango in some cases, just like both a prostitute and her client are criticized. Why does it not surprise me that some women make out the prostitute to be the victim of man's oppression? They use the same twisted reasoning there and it is merely finger-pointing instead of accepting some of the responsibility.

You've got your work cut out for you just like we have to work for our livings and control our testosterone. You have a curse to deal with. Get to it.

Sunday, October 03, 2004


Here's a short exercise for all of you: Think of the word 'sexist' for a minute and all the associations that come with it.

No, really, think for a minute.


Now how many of you thought of sexist women and discrimination against men, and actually gave it equal weight?

Here's another one: 'He has no respect for women'.

Now think of: 'She has no respect for men'.

I Hate Victims

Recently, I did some internet research and found increasingly numerous men's movements and anti-PC and post-feminist rants. Most of the sites dealt with the over-emphasis on women's rights and legal matters, especially child-support and divorce proceedings. There are so many widespread horror stories about greedy, vindictive women who abuse their legal power to do horrible things to their ex-husbands and children that I don't think I have to go into details anymore (try a sample article written from a female lawyer's point of view). There are rants about women not being drafted into the army, getting special treatment, women's health research getting more funding than men's, and even that men should be allowed to retire earlier because of their life expectancy. They include double-standards, misandry, female violence, statistics about the high amount of fake allegations of rape, etc, etc.

Imagine how bad the current state of affairs must be to have home paternity tests commercially available.

At first, I was even tempted to join up with some of these sites one way or another, if only to link them. They seemed very relevant.

But then I saw declarations that male power is a myth and statements like 'if men are so chauvinistic, why are they so quick to listen to feminist complaints'? I read endless and bitter accusations and rants, some irrational arguments, reactionary articles and one-sided polemics. I saw weariness and many fed up people who got sick of listening to women, now going to the other extreme. I saw male victims with chips on their shoulders and it all gave me a strange sense of déjà vu.

So what's really happening here? The only reason it has gotten to the stage where women have power and more respect in the first place is because of the powerful campaigning and feminist activists and the fact that people in power needed the 51% of women's votes who were suddenly demanding their rights.

But the truth is that this campaign has gone overboard and pushed things way too far. So now men are starting to push things the other way. Some are even so sick of feminazis, they are stating that men should be proud of their chauvinism and 'male' habits. Sexist male TV shows are popping up, etc. Where will it end? Right now male movements are justified and somewhat rational, but they can undo some of the progress made by feminists 30 years ago and resort to nasty throwbacks or worse. Feminism started this way as well.

And then it struck me: These angry men are over-victimizing themselves, demanding equality, and are already starting to make the same mistakes feminists did.

Do we have to swing back and forth like a see-saw before we find that delicate balance? What will it take to become a rational society?

In this blog I attempt to be neither here nor there but to provoke independent thinking. I try to show old issues in a new light instead of new issues in an old light. These sites made me realize that my balance is rare and that I'm the only one provoking with conservative opinions instead of stupid progressive ones. I will not link to these sites.

If I often sound like I'm one-sided and ranting against women, it's either because that's where most of the blindness currently is at, or simply because you are a woman who isn't used to being attacked this way. If you look closely however, I challenge both genders. Deal with it, and deal with it rationally just like you expect men to do.

You women have proven again and again that given power, you abuse it just as much as men, if not more. Your masses have been proven capable of extreme sexism, arrogance, greed, violence, abuse and intolerance. I'd be hard pressed to find one despicable trait in men that you haven't adopted yourselves with a vengeance. Men are sick of your lies and can see right through your militant feminist myths about feminine utopias. Do you really want all your hard work to be undone?

It's time for men to learn from the errors of feminism and it's time for you women to start listening again. It's for your own good.

"Large numbers of unattached and predatory males who have never taken on the responsibilities of family life, or who have been ejected from families, now meet the classic conditions for the creation of a 'warrior class'."
-Patricia Morgan

". . . Feminism has, for the first time in history, turned women from shaming individual men who are judged dishonorable, to shaming men in general and masculinity as an institution. And the very real danger in this is that if men come to perceive that there is no way for them to achieve honor, to be recognized publicly and privately as 'good' men, then they may sense that they have little to lose by taking what they want, since they have little to gain by restraining themselves. I very much fear that if we do not turn aside from our still-growing, wholesale shaming of men and the Patriarchy and all things male, that our future may contain civil violence of a degree we have never seen before."

Saturday, October 02, 2004


Some quotes I greatly enjoyed:

"Why does the dad only become unfit for his parenting role after separation?"
-Jayne Woodman

"Behind every great man is a parasite."

"Women have always been the primary victims of war. Women lose their husbands, their fathers, their sons in combat. Women often have to flee from the only homes they have ever known. Women are often the refugees from conflict and sometimes, more frequently in today's warfare, victims. Women are often left with the responsibility, alone, of raising the children."
-Hillary Clinton

"Feminism was about MORE STUFF FOR WOMEN. Programs for men? Men have everything - don't they? ... Me?" she titters. "Sign up for the draft? Drill oil? You must be kidding. I'm not equipped for that. That's not the kind of Equality I mean."
-Rich Zubaty

"It would be less demanding, enslaving, perplexing and strenuous for a healthy male to screw a thousand women in his lifetime than to try to please one, and the potential for failure would be less."
-Irma Kurtz

"Without men, civilization would last until the oil needed changing."

"When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence. When men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment."
-Warren Farrell

"Part of the reason that men seem so much less loving than women is that men's behaviour is measured with a female ruler."
-Francesca Cancian

"Women have emotions; men have deeper feelings."
-Rich Zubaty

"It is an amazing thing to see in our city the wife of a shoemaker, or a butcher, or a porter dressed in silk with chains of gold at the throat, with pearls and a ring of good value... and then in contrast to see her husband cutting the meat,all smeared with cow's blood, poorly dressed, or burdened like an ass, clothed with the stuff from which sacks are made... but whoever considers this carefully will find it reasonable, because it is necessary that the lady, even if low-born and humble, be draped with such clothes for her natural excellence and dignity, and that the man less adorned as if a slave, or a little ass, born to her service."
— Lucrezia Marinella, Venice, Italy, 1600
The Nobility and Excellence of Women TogetherWith the Defects and Deficiencies of Men

"After hearing from women for years about all the things they aren't going to do for men any more, and adding up all the demands for "more" from women, a simple cost-benefit analysis shows that a lot of men simply can't afford the luxury of a woman, and have opted for a simpler, more spartan lifestyle. Women have made themselves into the Edsels of the new millennium: overpriced luxury products that no one wants."